how do i know the world’s coming to an end? well.. because my car works, my bike is perfect, my room is warm, my belly is full, just too many good things at once..and I’m getting a chance to do what I want to do.. finally.. sometimes we make decisions that take us a while to see the true lesson to be had. I’m still learning.. I’d rather fail my own way than not even get the chance to swing.
I have so many ideas and projects I want to accomplish. I’m not done yet. I’m not done creating. I have no idea what makes me want to create and sometimes I almost feel bad for even having that notion. maybe because I can’t explain why. it just feels like another form of breathing to me. except with my hands and for your eyes.
This past 2 weeks have been crazy. I don’t know where to start. A girl had a seizure at work just one row behind me and another girl quit when she went on break and just never came back. I got reprimanded for leaving my computer for 5 minutes just to go to the bathroom. I had two different supervisors tell me that if I’m to use time for the bathroom that I have to subtract it off of my breaks.. wait..what? This call center job is horrible. Which brings me to my main point.
A local school, Dickinson College, is hiring a graphic designer.. I jumped at the opportunity and immediately applied. I also sent them a hard copy of my portfolio/ resume/ coverletter. I know I could do the work they need and it would be a lot of fun. It also would be a giant step in the right direction and I’d try my hardest to make sure my work is on point. I called them to make sure they got it, they said “Yes” and that was it. I’m waiting till next week to call them back and see what’s up over there.
Also, a friend let me know that S&M bikes is hiring a graphic designer. S&M is based in Santa Ana California. I figured I’d apply even though it’s a shot in the dark. Why would they hire someone from the east coast? I’m sure there’s plenty of good designers between here and there. Then I started to think about it..I designed for Van (2x4) who rides for Fit which is an extension of S&M. I mentioned on the cover letter that they can use him as a reference. Also, When Van took me out to interbike the other year I got to meet all the S&M employees in attendance. I stayed mostly in their booth. I even went with them in the S&M cargo van to do a little shop visit. It was awesome. everyone seemed really cool. A girl by the name of Michela was really nice to me and made me feel welcome.
I started to entertain the thought of having either job and my life seemed so much brighter. I feel like I’m just treading water right now waiting for something to come by. The Dickinson college design position would be a great opportunity to really get my foot in the door as an established Graphic Designer. Working at S&M would be more like a childhood dream coming true. They are the biggest manufacturer of bmx bikes in America! The whole company seems to have a sweet attitude and they continue to get the job done right. Not to mention they are in California, I’ve been wanting to get out there to at least visit and I have no idea when I’d actually have the means to do so.
I’m hoping to hear back from either soon.
This picture isn’t much to look at, but I’m filling out a federal background check that requires everywhere I’ve worked and lived for the last 7 years. What you can see is, I moved ten times in the last five years.
I’m also currently filling out a rent application for a place by myself. This will be the first place I’ve had by myself. I hope I get it. I’m sick of moving.
Saw this earlier today. I used to watch this show with my mom. True Story.
And now it’s not working.
“The first prototypes are always fantastically expensive. Spread over many items, the first cost trends toward negligibility… That high first cost is simply the cost of learning. Once we have learned, we start modeling what we know. A book is one kind of model, a speech is another, a machine is still another. What you paid for this book is a tiny fraction of what learning to write it cost me, or my cost to the communities that maintained the schools I went to…
Most of the costs of most of the things we buy were long ago amortized. They are simply available, as “general knowledge.” Everyone, most of the time, is riding free on all that mankind has learned. We are all on welfare.”
Become Bucky, Hugh Kenner
Ok, this is for those of you who actually know me and or want to know me. this is gonna get weird.
All my life I lived somewhere that didn’t have heat or the radiator was broken or we couldn’t afford heat. It is my ultimate goal in life to own a home. A home that would be warm. A home that was designed exactly how I would want a home to be. A home that was designed with some fucking brain cells. It’s my dream to own a home like this:
Everything about this home was thought about before it was made. Every little green square you see is a little innovation they did to make this thing green. It uses 1/10th of the utilities as a normal home.
The counter tops are made out of recycled news paper that is compressed so tightly that it’s similar to marble.
My only problem is being able to afford a warm home, let alone a home like this.
It’s my life goaI to become wealthy enough to afford a home like this. I feel if I had a warm home, everything else would just be a little easier to take.
A little about me: I produce reality TV. And the one thing that I can tell you categorically from every romance reality show I’ve been a part of is this - you learn more from flying a kite with someone than you’ll ever learn from coffee. Coffee’s easy. Coffee’s where our pre-programmed scripts about who we claim to be come out. But you DO something with someone, any action really, and they’re in a moment WITH you. And you’ll find out who they really are. It doesn’t have to be romantic or super creative or even original. It just have to involve two people standing up and moving around in some way. Sure there’s a chance you’ll look goofy or awkward or it could all go horribly wrong. But a NO you understand is better than a YES you’re always on the fence about. Because it’s how you get to who you’re supposed to be with.
So good. Lesson to be learned.
I wanted to make this last night but couldn’t remember the lyrics until today haha
This is a picture my phone took in my pocket. I really like the gradient.
Things have been going good so far. I think my friend Ted and I are getting a house in south Philly. I’m really excited. We don’t have any furniture or utensils so it’ll be very modern looking and simplistic. Haha